Memories of a mother with a dyslexic child in secondary school in Beykoz

I am at my son’s school on an autumn day in Beykoz, by the sea. The sun is hitting as fiercely as possible on the windows while a gentle wind is blowing in my hair. Inside, despite the sun, the high-ceilinged corridors are damp and cool. We are perching with my friend Deniz on the two chairs where the classroom guards sit, our eyes on the door of the classroom, our minds on our sons and the bell that will ring.

How strange is life, my love for my son has taken me away from Mecidiyeköy, which is seen as the center of city life as well as my workplace was located and thrown me into a new neighborhood with beautiful nature, facing people I don’t know. Am I complaining? No. My eyes are on the bell that will ring. When the bell rings, my son will be among those leaving the classroom, I will talk to his teacher and ask if he has adjusted to his class.

We talk about how difficult the last two years have been. Every day a fight, every day a scuffle and ripped trousers. Being unable to protect themselves, they always get caught by the teacher. When they come home, they can’t explain what happened at school and they break their toys with a hammer. It turns out that, for him, it was a struggle for existence in life resulting in oppression and defeat of his own rights due to his inability to express himself. Oh boy, I say, I could not fully protect you from any of these.

The bell rings, all children are dismissed and go out for recess. My son comes out from behind hugging a friend. When he sees me, he immediately runs and hugs me. We become one heart, mother and son.

His teacher is coming towards us. I immediately capture it and start talking: “I am the mother of …..”.

“Does my son understand the lesson, does he do what you say? “The teacher is quick-witted, ah yes, your son is very smart, but he talks a lot in class, I put him in the front”. Oh well, he was only talking too much. There are no other incidents.

A nice little chat with the teachers, then the bell rings and our children go back to class. We rush to the school gate with my friend Deniz. When we step out of the school gate, the sun hits our faces again. A huge weight has been lifted from our shoulders. Everything is fine today, the weather is fine. We are on our way to Dalyan cafe. Turkish coffees are ordered, we are sipping our coffee against the sparkling blue sea. We have a few peaceful hours until children get out of school. Because at the exit, we will go home, meals will be prepared and the homework hassle will begin.

Do I regret it, never! Being the mother of a dyslexic child teaches me new things every day. Most of all, staying in the moment and being happy. The best part is that you notice similarities between the two of you during the journey. You feel compassion for the child in you by going back to the past, recalling all the things you did alongwith you couldn’t, all the moments when you were oppressed or protected.

 

The year is 2008. It’s 02:00 at night. My sweet baby is 4 years old, burning up with 39 degrees temperature. And he’s coughing non-stop. I take off his top and wipe his body with wet towels. Sleep is flowing through his eyes, however, both fever and cough do not allow him to fall asleep. I was working at the bank, yet about 10 months after my baby was born, he was diagnosed with bronchitis and subsequently asthma. All the doctors we visited tended to think that there was no developmental problem only asthma. They did not make any changes in his nutrition either.

Sometimes he receives antibiotic treatment two times a month. Antibiotics prevent fevers, Ventolin prevents asthma attacks. My sweet baby walked at 10 months, talked at 12 months, completed his potty training at 15 months. My life routine consisted of staying awake at night, going to the bank with little to no sleep and entrusting my son to his caregiver. It has become so automatic. As soon as the attack is over and the fever is gone, we started antibiotics the next day. We were not told to use any probiotics besides antibiotics. A doctor stated that general allergy testing should be conducted, but allergy tests under the age of 6 were also not recommended as they do not yield true results.

Know-it-alls say the main problem is lack of mother care; but how can you blame it all on the working mother when she had to hire a babysitter with a huge monthly salary who is deemed much more skilled than herself? If my love is subject to discussion, I was available for him at all night, in sickness and in health.

The year is 2010. My sweet baby is starting school. He’s always been an active kid, he can’t sit still for 10 minutes, carbohydrates and sugar are his favorites. He drinks  plenty of milk.

Dude, look, this is the letter BBB, this is the letter DDD, B Baby, D Dad… Numerous repetitions, again B and D get mixed up.

Look, son, you will take the pen and hold it like this, we will draw the letter A like this. A futile try, finally I take his soft hands and teach him how to write with my own.

At the end of the second year, the diagnosis is made, dyslexia. There is no cure, it just gets better with some training.

From 2010 to 2020, I went through a metamorphosis. First I switched from a workaholic businesswoman to a stay-at-home mom. Then I became my son’s life coach and primary educator, and eventually a solution developer for sufferers in general.

Medical Science has come a long way in 10 years. Now, when the child has fever, Dolven (NSAII, Ibuprofen) is given for 3 days, antibiotics are prescribed only when the fever lasts more than 3 days. Probiotic supplements are combined with antibiotics. Food allergy and immune system problems are suspected on the basis of an allergic condition that concerns the lungs, such as asthma, and when the GAPS diet is followed, the child’s health condition improves greatly. For the diagnosis of dyslexia with AutoTrainBrain, a preliminary analysis is made without waiting for the end of the age of 8 and the related doctor assesses the data for diagnosis. The education of a child with dyslexia, who starts school just recently and is under heavy pressure, can be given at home under the mother’s control with Auto Train Brain. Most importantly, it is known that genetics is the basis of dyslexia and allergic children are more at risk of developing dyslexia due to co-development of the brain-gut-immune system. Today, it is well agreed that the increase in these conditions is linked to avoidance of natural nutrition, prevalent use of GMO foods and pesticides and the mother’s stressful pregnancy period.

 

Some people’s life journey involves greater tests and harsher experiences. Sometimes you have a hard time accepting your destiny, but the sooner you accept it, the faster you will progress.

My mother gave birth to me naturally but I was deprived of oxygen for a considerable amount of time on the point of birth. Maybe that was the point where my autoimmune problems started, maybe it was written in my genetic code. Because when I look at my family history and relatives, I see there are epilepsy cases and learning difficulties in boys.

I remember that I had severe allergy episodes a few times in my childhood; a doctor once even told my father that I was going to die because of the rash on my body.

I started primary school at the age of 5, I had no difficulty reading. However, I think there was a problem with socialization. I couldn’t pass the Science School entrance exam yet started University at the age of 16. Anxiety, introversion, inability to socialize and lack of self-confidence have always been problems in my life as well as dyspraxia. On the other hand, me and my brother were academically successful, hardworking, nice kids. We grew up without any learning disability diagnoses thankfully.

Things changed for the 21st century children. Unfortunately, they are quickly diagnosed. Maybe cesarean delivery is to blame, maybe industrial agricultural products and modern life alltogether did not let them grow as naturally as we did.

My attempt as a mother in developing this product is to make these kids socially accepted individuals who can read at the very least, which is one of the most important survival skills. It is an effort to bring “neurofeedback” home without side effects as also mentioned in thousands of scientific articles in the literature. Being accepted by friends and teachers is his desire to improve with an inexhaustible energy and effort as a mother on the way to increase his self-confidence. What I want for my son is a general wish for your children as well, a good future.

What I’ve learned on this journey is an endless acceptance process; respect for his existence, love and provision of endless support in this direction. When I set out on this path, my sole wish was to enable him to read via neurofeedback. Those kids had to be literate as it is hardly possible to exist in the 21st century world without being able to read. I never had the intention of changing him or wanting him to be first in exams. Being fully aware that autoimmune problems increase and worsen with stress response, I avoided stressing him out; my priority has been his happiness.

At this point, he has become a young person who does many sports from ice skating to basketball, can play the piano with 10 fingers, and has average of 95 points out of 100 in secondary school. When measured at the age of 7, although the difference between performance IQ and verbal IQ was more than 20 points, he was diagnosed as gifted. At 16, his status was elevated to a gifted child who had closed the gap between performance and verbal IQ with Auto Train Brain. Now he is an adolescent, the whole endocrine system is changing rapidly similar to a pregnant woman. In this turbulent period, my objectives are keeping up with his development, accepting him as he is and wishing that life will treat him well.

I do my best to help him find his own path in life by bringing out the talents in him. I know and accept that autoimmune problems will affect him differently at different ages throughout his life. I want him to know that I, as his mother, will support him and do my best so that he can express the creative power that exists within him. I liken the process to watching a butterfly transforming into a beautiful flying creature displaying many colors.

May God pave the way for all of our children, encourage them to overcome their learning difficulties and express themselves, and give them the good news of a literate and literate future with Auto Train Brain.

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